BY SAIMA *** It started with a random text from my dude-bro:
I don’t trust women anymore. My heart caught in my throat.
In my experience, men almost always follow this with a statement about how most women lie about rape (which we all know is nonsense). Why would anyone lie about rape in a world where rape culture is so predominant, yet its existence is denied? If you’re as “woke” as you think you are, then you know that most rape victims don’t tell.
So, back to this text. Mr Dude-Bro followed it with a collage of three selfies of the same girl.
Selfie 1: She is wearing no make-up (and looking fantastic, might I add).
Selfie 2: She has it on but it’s not blended in (still looking amazing, girl).
Selfie 3: She has a full face of make-up on (and she is still looking fire).
Now, usually when I’m faced with a conversation of this sort, I tend to let it go. Not because I don’t give a damn, because I promise you I give every single damn about this. I le…
Ah, we meet again, my non-existent fan base. I come in chaos. I mean peace!
I come in peace.
I've been pretty invisible the past few months and so I thought I'd dump a little brain on ya in form of a brain dump (that sounds a lot less clever now that I'm typing it and I feel like there's some inappropriate subtext I'm too tired to figure out).
Admit it, you missed my shitty sense of humour.
Shh, I know you did. I know.
So, before I dig an even deeper hole and bury my reputation as a sane person there, listen up kids! You know the drill. I haven't updated you on my doings in a while. I imagine you all sitting at your desks these past few months, constantly refreshing my homepage, desperate for something. Anything. Fear not, awesome humans. Your prayers have been heard, and I now just realised I'm tooting my horn waaay too much and holy fuck I just realised what tooting my own horn actually means.
Without further ado, let's get to the good stuff. Actually, …
August's Writer of the Month is none other than Louise Gornall, an incredible author who recently had her novel Under Rose-Tainted Skies published with Chicken House.
I got my copy in the post on Sunday and I've been glued to it ever since. It is one of the most engaging stories I've ever read, and I'm honestly not just saying that. If you're looking for accurate representation for OCD or agoraphobia, you'll find it in this touching story. Keep an eye open for my review of it next Tuesday!
*** To prepare you for how out-of-this-world this interview is going to be, why don't you start by introducing yourself in third person, through your best friend's eyes? This is Louise. She's a young adult author, twin, book nerd, film fanatic, cute, kind of awkward, and always dying her hair crazy colours.
Tell me about something you're overwhelmingly passionate about. What makes your brain light up? What makes your heart skip? Contemporary YA. I was a late bloom…
So, you're probably wondering (or probably not) where and why I keep disappearing. I have a habit of popping up, making a hilarious mess and then making a rapid exit from the fast-paced world of social media. I have the attention span of a sponge. You're probably thinking, "but Saaaaaaaam, sponges don't have attention spans." Exactly.
I've dropped the Meet the Writer segment for the foreseeable future. My query letter is done and I need to start focusing on sending my drivel out. I can almost taste the rejections.
Ahhhh, sweet, sweet, rejection *sobs*
Anyway, Brain Dump is something I'm going to do from now on. Every now and again, I'll collate my most pressing thoughts into one post and just throw it out there. My brain dumps won't have any consistency and there isn't a theme. I'll just say whatever I need to say, whenever I want to say it, and you'll have no idea when I'll post. It could be 3am. It could be never. This might be the…