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Meet the Writer: Zakarie K

"Ayyyye lmao." 

I know I say this every week, but I was super excited to upload this interview. So excited, that I was supposed to put it up yesterday, but I had to spend some time recovering from being hysterical. Zak is someone I know quite well in real life, so I thought his answers wouldn't surprise me, but they did. He's an epic multi-talented dude with an epic sense of humour. Read his answers and you'll know exactly why I laugh/cry pretty much every time he opens his mouth. Let's go!

1. Introduce yourself to me but do it in a rap.

Alright, let’s do this.

Check it.

Check it.

Check it.

I was here before you met me. I was here before.

Writing this book to find loves cure.

Pain and hurt has filled my emotion.

Writing for me was the only solution.

Getting to the point my name is Zakarie.

I write for fun, not for your salary.

I’m not much of a rapper, but I sure can write.

So take this off me. Take my damn mic!

Peace!

2. You’re self-publishing your novel, “Still Waiting” soon. Tell me why this story is important for the world to know.

Well, most people don’t know this, but this is a true story based on my life. It’s been five years since I left College, but I remember the memories as if they happened yesterday. In today’s society, people hide away their pain from their close ones. And just like me, we all find out too late until nothing more can be done to resolve the issue. I guess you can say we are all “Still Waiting” for something.

3. If you could be any character in any book you’ve read, which would it be?

The book “The Fault in Our Stars” comes to mind. Augustus is a strong character who stares death in the eyes. I would like to be him. I like his trademark. You know it right?

I’ll give you a clue. Cigarette.

4. What makes you the happiest?

Seeing happy people. They say a smile is contagious, let’s just say I’m a strong believer of that!

5. Would you rather be able to fly with terrible coordination, or sing well with a female voice?

I would rather sing with a female voice. It would be fun to sing in the shower without anyone complaining for once.

6. Tell me something funny about you that will make me laugh so much I’ll punch you in the face.

I’m not sure I want to get my face punched, to be entirely honest, but here it goes.

At least three times a week, I go through my usual routine of having a shower, gelling my hair and putting on my contact lenses. One day, I got into my car and turned the ignition. I have a habit of putting my glasses on sometimes before I drive. Anyway, I put them on and everything was blurry. I took them off and my vision was clear and sharp. I put it on again, took it off and then hurried back inside, excited, thinking my vision was miraculously fixed. I later realized that I had contact lenses on…

7. If you could say one thing to a person of your choice and then have it wiped from their memory, who would it be and what would you say?

I will tell my manager to @%*!!!!£&%

8. Who’s your favourite comic book character? Why?

As my book will tell you it is Superman. He is just an all-round badass. He is the man of steel.

9. You’re sitting alone in a coffee shop. A pretty girl walks up to your table. She karate chops it in half and then moonwalks away with a glint in her eyes. You moonwalk after her. Everyone else gets up to moonwalk in a circle around you both. She shrugs and challenges you to a thumb war. You accept. What happens next?

I win the thumb war, and in my victory daze I put her thumb in my mouth. She does the same with mine. I take out her thumb and smell it. Then, I look at her blankly and say, “Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just a woman that claims that I am the one,” and walk off without saying another word.

10. If you were a video game character, what type of game would it be, what would be your name, and what special skills would you have?

I would be in Street Fighter; my special skill would be fart spray. When I fart, the gas is poisonous and kills the characters. It’ll give me a chance to blow off some steam!

11. Tell me about the last book that made you sad.

Books don’t make me sad. Reality makes me sad.

12. What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done to get someone’s attention? It could be a terrible pick-up line you used.

I walked over to an ex-girlfriends house in my boxers and said, “You’re missing out.”

13. Are you going to continue writing books after “Still Waiting,” or is this story the only one for you?

I think this might be it for me, but who knows? I may have another story to tell.

14. Would you rather be rich with a heart of stone, or famous with a warm heart?

I would rather be famous with a warm heart.

15. This is an open-floor question. You can tell me more about your upcoming book, or tell me where to stick it. Totally up to you.

My upcoming book is an absolute masterpiece. So far everybody who has read it has cried and loved it. It is a real story about a real girl and real boy. Obviously, the names have been changed, but it’s a story that will show you why it’s important to value the people in our lives.

******

Follow Zak's Twitter here and keep an eye out for "Still Waiting" updates. You're going to want to read that thing. Trust me.

Here are a few sample tweets!